Discoteca Cucaracha

I live with cockroaches. As soon as the sun sets our bathroom becomes “discoteca cucaracha” club cockroach. Thankfully it is only in our bathroom. Even though there are cockroaches in our bathroom, my roommate, Stephy, and I have decided that we won’t look for them whenever we use the bathroom. I am glad that they are not flying roaches. We have a joke that the bathroom becomes a club for the cockroaches after the sun goes down so we always bang on the door to let them know that we are coming in. It never seems to work.

It has been a week since we arrived in Honduras. It has been really hot and humid. We are staying in cabins along a river and we are basically in the jungle. There has been many thunder storms and it has rained a lot. My favorite place to be is in the hammocks where I can read and relax. I am finally adjusting to the heat and the routine.

I am staying in a cabin with two other people, Nery and Stephy. There are three beds in the cabin and it is a very tight fit, but we manage. The hotel has a pool, which is nice after a long day of work. They serve delicious food. It is usually a variation of some kind of meat, beans, tortillas, cheese and plantains.

This weekend we went to Copan and took a tour of the Mayan Ruins. It was really cool to see the structures and the statues that have been in place for centuries. In the museum we saw a Mayan calendar engraved on a stone, it was pretty cool. The hotel we stayed in was very resort-like. It was an excellent end to a first week of work. Next weekend is Tela!!!

The Experience of a Lifetime

I will never forget Pulhapenzak falls. (Nor will I forget what it feels like to almost drown) First off, we went zip-lining over the falls. The canopy tour took us to eleven different stations. We started upstream of the river and made our way down. The first time was the scariest, especially since I am afraid of heights, but it was sooo worth it. The view of the waterfalls was incredible. We were so high up. Then we went on a waterfall tour. When I first heard of the waterfall tour I had no idea what was going to happen. Little did I know we that we would be going behind this big waterfall and getting soaking wet.

When we got up to the falls it was misting, good thing we didn't bring our cameras. We ventured over tons of slippery rocks, the guide was readily available to give us a hand. We approached the river and the guide gave us an option to jump in the little pool or wade through it. Since I am afraid of jumping in I decided to wade through it, glad I wore my Chacos. (That was only the beginning of how wet I got) As we continued on we got closer to the falls and it became a lot harder for me to see anything since it was misting so bad. Then came the scariest part, we got to the base, the water was pounding on the rocks and I could barely breathe or see anything. I had an intense fear building up in my stomach, my heart was beating so fast. The air was so full of water that I could barely breathe. I can only imagine that is what drowning feels like. They tell you that you get wet, but this, this is something different entirely. At the base of the falls, we slithered down into the river that was waist deep. With the water pounding I still could barely breathe and I could not see where I was going so I started to panic The guide told us to wait, then instructed us to hold hands, close our eyes and breathe through our mouths. It was quite the experience, I don't know if I have ever gripped someone's hand that hard, knowing that I had to trust the guide and the person in front of me to get us to a safe place. Even if I had opened my eyes I would not have been able to see anything at all, which would have caused me to panic. I kept my eyes closed and remained as calm as I could. Already behind the falls we were almost to our final destination. We had also waded through the river. The guide led us to a cave which was completely dark and told us to climb up into it. We got inside where it was dry and much easier to breathe. Sitting down, we took a moment to calm down knowing that we had to venture back through the waterfall once again. Once we crawled back out of the cave it seemed like we took a shorter route back. Although we still couldn't see much we waded through the river and clambered back over the rocks to the little pool we had first encountered. The guide once again gave the option to jump or wade through. This time, I decided to try jumping. I climbed up the rock and looked down in the water. I was about fifteen feet above the water, my heart pounded and I was asking myself why I had decided to do this. The guide told me to jump into the white water and that I would be fine. It was scary, but I took the leap. I landed in the water completely fine and I barely touched the bottom. At that point we headed back over more slippery rocks and back to our cabins.

I still cannot believe the adventure that we just had. It was surreal. I will never forget the feeling of the water pounding down around me, along with the beating of my heart. Even though I was very scared for many parts of the waterfall tour I can confidently say it was one of my most amazing experiences. Looking back, I am realizing how crazy it was. We couldn't see anything at all. We had to put our lives into the hands of our guides to lead us through the dangerous parts. If I had known what was going to happen on our hike I probably would not have gone, but I am still very thankful that I did. It was the experience of a lifetime. It is a reminder that we are called to go outside of our comfort zone. Even though it seems like it will be a scary experience we need to trust God. We do not always know what will happen and it will not always be easy, but we should trust God to get us through it.

Change

About a month ago I presented a question, 'what has God taught you this past year?' to three of my close friends from high school. My answer revolved around three things, ‘Be Intentional,’ ‘Be Present,’ and ‘Love.’ In short, I have learned how to be present and intentional within the Fish community. Being present within my community also required me to be intentional. I have also learned a lot about love. I am learning to truly love others the way they experience love and I have learned what it is really. It is about not giving up on them. It is encouraging others and being there for them in times of need. It is about sacrifice. We sacrifice our comfort to love others because there is no guarantee that we will receive love in return. It is shown through our actions. Loving someone is about being present and being intentional with that person. 


As I am three weeks into my summer adventure I am realizing that I am already forgetting what I have learned. Let me start off by noting that during the summers I tend to transition to a selfish, prideful mode. This summer I decided to have a different approach, which has been a good decision. I decided to have this 'be present and intentional' attitude in whatever community I am in. I have been forgetting what I have learned. I have forgotten to be present and not be stuck in the past or future worrying about things.


I am preparing to leave for Honduras in 4 days. I have been taking sometime to prepare myself and address how I feel and I am worried. I have spent the last week trying to pinpoint why I feel that way. I realized that it was because of my lack of trust, my doubt is drowning out my previous lessons. As Christians, doubt is part of our experience and we stand with Christ through this experience. I have learned that it is when I am prideful and refuse to acknowledge my doubt that it becomes problematic. I would say that trusting God goes in hand in hand with being present, being intentional, and love. We need to trust God and know that He has our back. When we are in doubt it is about what we do to renew our trust and overcome that doubt. Do we sit back and remain in our doubt? Or do we do something about it? I am doubting because I am scared of what is supposed to come out of my summer. I know that I am going to Honduras and I know that one of my best friends is getting married. I am worried because I know these two things will bring about change. And change scares me. I honestly do not if this change will be good or bad, but I do know that because I am worrying about it I am not being present and intentional in my current situation. This is because I am not trusting Him. I need to bring myself back into the present. I do not need to stress about what the future holds for my friendships or for beyond college. I need to remember that God does everything with a purpose and that He will never give me more than I can handle. 


Be present and intentional in the change. Do not fear it, instead make the best out of it. In doubt, love and serve others. Love with abandon. And give it all to God because only then can you truly say that it will be alright in the end.