Change

About a month ago I presented a question, 'what has God taught you this past year?' to three of my close friends from high school. My answer revolved around three things, ‘Be Intentional,’ ‘Be Present,’ and ‘Love.’ In short, I have learned how to be present and intentional within the Fish community. Being present within my community also required me to be intentional. I have also learned a lot about love. I am learning to truly love others the way they experience love and I have learned what it is really. It is about not giving up on them. It is encouraging others and being there for them in times of need. It is about sacrifice. We sacrifice our comfort to love others because there is no guarantee that we will receive love in return. It is shown through our actions. Loving someone is about being present and being intentional with that person. 


As I am three weeks into my summer adventure I am realizing that I am already forgetting what I have learned. Let me start off by noting that during the summers I tend to transition to a selfish, prideful mode. This summer I decided to have a different approach, which has been a good decision. I decided to have this 'be present and intentional' attitude in whatever community I am in. I have been forgetting what I have learned. I have forgotten to be present and not be stuck in the past or future worrying about things.


I am preparing to leave for Honduras in 4 days. I have been taking sometime to prepare myself and address how I feel and I am worried. I have spent the last week trying to pinpoint why I feel that way. I realized that it was because of my lack of trust, my doubt is drowning out my previous lessons. As Christians, doubt is part of our experience and we stand with Christ through this experience. I have learned that it is when I am prideful and refuse to acknowledge my doubt that it becomes problematic. I would say that trusting God goes in hand in hand with being present, being intentional, and love. We need to trust God and know that He has our back. When we are in doubt it is about what we do to renew our trust and overcome that doubt. Do we sit back and remain in our doubt? Or do we do something about it? I am doubting because I am scared of what is supposed to come out of my summer. I know that I am going to Honduras and I know that one of my best friends is getting married. I am worried because I know these two things will bring about change. And change scares me. I honestly do not if this change will be good or bad, but I do know that because I am worrying about it I am not being present and intentional in my current situation. This is because I am not trusting Him. I need to bring myself back into the present. I do not need to stress about what the future holds for my friendships or for beyond college. I need to remember that God does everything with a purpose and that He will never give me more than I can handle. 


Be present and intentional in the change. Do not fear it, instead make the best out of it. In doubt, love and serve others. Love with abandon. And give it all to God because only then can you truly say that it will be alright in the end.